How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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