For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
