six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
