A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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