Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
