Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
