dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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