i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
