Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
