Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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