my being single is dangerous.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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