A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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