Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
