If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
