just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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