i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
