So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
