Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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