.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
