we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
