It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
