Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
where are my eyebrows?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
