wrigley field is MILF paradise
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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