why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize