The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
