is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
