i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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