Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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