Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
