I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
