just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
