So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Couch. On fire.
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