im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
