do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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