People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
