Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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