she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
