his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
