i think my tv is drunk
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
