Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
