hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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