I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize