My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
