hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize