Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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