It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
