i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
His hands were made for my vagina.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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