All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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