when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i will never coherently bang her
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
