is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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