i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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