well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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