she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
