so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
