you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize