I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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