it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
