I must be too annoying 4 u.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
