Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
