the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
