...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
