You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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